Tom Ravencroft
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MonsterVineLatest Reviews
In trying to serve two masters–cozy shop game! Small town with a dark secret!–Merchants of Rosewall serves neither. It doesn’t have the detailed shop gameplay or crunchy numbers type features I’d want from a shop Sim, and it doesn’t have the compelling mystery or story telling or character interaction I’d want from a story game. On the other hand, Cletus’ Quickstop has Linen Pants in stock, come on in and try some on!
But if you’re willing to put up with that sort of ongoing pressure on your health and sanity (oh, how very meta), it is, at least, an intriguing experiment and a certainly unconventional game in a genre that usually tends to be more about 360 noscopes and sick kills than reckoning with the fragile mental health of your band of heretics who may or may not be falsely accused as they seek to escape a monastery. One day, they’ll make that The Name of the Rose Black Ops they keep hinting at, but until then, this is what we’ve got.
But on the other hand…there’s not really a competitor, except Microsoft Flight Simulator 2020, so what else are you going to do? It’s a gorgeous game and when it all comes together and you’re soaring over the Grand Canyon or crashing into the street in front of your house or doing low-level stunts in an F-18, it hits like nothing else. But you’re going to need a big, beefy machine, a nice, steady internet connection, and the favor of…THE CLOUD! HAIL CLOUD! I dunno, I’m starting to think this “put everything online and make it dependent on massive server infrastructure” thing was a mistake.
Look, I’m not going to lie to you, this isn’t some subversive indie game where deep down there’s a deeply moving story about a sad dad with a beard discovering he loves his son or whatever. There’s a squirrel, there’s a gun. What more do you want?
And while I don’t know if I really got the storyline, I did enjoy it, because what I took from it was, basically, time has been shattered and people are trying to help, but every time they do, they just make things worse. There are many quests that are basically “Help these people try to fix things,” then you do, then the quest text changes to “Oh god, no, they managed to summon some kind of terrible horror from the nether, kill it before it gets loose. Everyone’s an idiot and things just keep getting worse.” No major studio would try that, it would lose them key happiness points in the teenage demo, but it did make me laugh.
So if you don’t mind the fact that it’s not Darkest Dungeon But More and it’s Darkest Dungeon But Different…it’s worth caveating that the first 10 hours are so are basically just punching you in the face over and over again and normally I don’t put up with that at all before going “okay yeah but then it gets good” but I am an unemployed goth degenerate, so what else am I gonna do?
I’m not going to reveal much of the story since that’s the entire point of playing this one, but while it’s fairly linear, it’s fun to see it unfold from a fairly mundane beginning to what becomes kind of bugfuck especially once we get into the whole cults and Lovecraft and mythos thing. So yes, there’s some animation jank, the world isn’t as open as some of their bigger budget titles, and it’s fairly short (about 10-12 hours), but if you like to actually keep a notebook at your computer and write things down like we did back when your choice of display was “green” or “amber”, you can forgive some of that. (It actually does a good job of compiling all its information in-game, but sometimes it’s easier to flip through a paper notebook and I’m also a dork that likes stationary and pens).
I’m not going to reveal much of the story since that’s the entire point of playing this one, but while it’s fairly linear, it’s fun to see it unfold from a fairly mundane beginning to what becomes kind of bugfuck especially once we get into the whole cults and Lovecraft and mythos thing. So yes, there’s some animation jank, the world isn’t as open as some of their bigger budget titles, and it’s fairly short (about 10-12 hours), but if you like to actually keep a notebook at your computer and write things down like we did back when your choice of display was “green” or “amber”, you can forgive some of that. (It actually does a good job of compiling all its information in-game, but sometimes it’s easier to flip through a paper notebook and I’m also a dork that likes stationary and pens).
The setup of the game: That you are drawing creatures that are fighting someone else’s drawings in the margins flows through the general vibe of the game. It’s surprisingly engaging and quite tactical while also being pretty loosey goosey and fun without taking up months of your life like a Paradox game. It’s just a chill good…ahhhhhhhhhhhhh god, it’s chili night and I’ve had that one stored up for hours. Might wanna open a window for that one, you’re gonna need a couple turns to get rid of that, heh heh.
If you’re chasing whatever the hottest new trend is or want a groundbreaking game with never-before-seen mechanics, obviously this is not a good match. But if you’re looking for a game that captures the vibe of a place, the mood of a place, and a story that rapidly spirals into both relevance (the nerds are cobbling together a rocket to go to the MOOOOON! They dress as crusaders!) and insanity, well, you can’t do much better. Between the setting, the rampant Catholic/Christian imagery, and the general near-future vibe, this was an experience. Normally I’m a bit of a dabbler, but I powered through this one in two nights, then powered through it again to make slightly different choices and see what changed. Very few story spoilers here, but let’s say it’s both deeply personal and deeply knowledgeable of the setting and surroundings…and completely bugfuck in an enjoyable way.