Kirk McKeand
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Writing For
Rock Paper Shotgun
VG247
PCGamesNLatest Reviews
If you do manage to hold out, you will be rewarded with flashes of brilliance, it’s just that those flashes are buried as deep as the core story is buried in the endless dialogue. And as profound as it wants to be, this is still a game in which you can equip and unequip your penis so you can p**s out Red Bull. The good stuff is waiting for you beyond that p**s, beyond the s**t grenades, beyond that Ride with Norman Reedus advert unceremoniously plastered into a game universe where I didn’t see a single television set. It’s just a test of attrition.
When you’re right in the thick of it, zipping around like a toddler after a pack of Smarties, efficiently and methodically laying waste to the hordes of hell at 900 gibs per minute, this is the strongest Doom has ever been. It’s the combat of Doom 2016 expanded in clever ways, built upon in layers, like the skin and muscles of a demon that you remove in chunks with each trigger pull. Playing it is like catharsis, a virtual wall punch for the modern age.
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Still, despite the fact Borderlands 3 seemingly wants me to hate it, I really, really like it. Like, a lot. I say this as someone who’s become a bit disenfranchised with the loot shooter. The moronic, sophomoric (sophomoronic?) dialogue masks over one of the most thoughtful, satisfying shooters you can play right now. You just have to learn to tune out the white noise, and to swap your weapon before you open a chest, you idiot.
The interplay between the AI, your abilities, the physics of the world, and your guns is some of the best I’ve seen, and I never thought I would be saying anything like that about a sequel to Brown Shooter: Apocalypse. There’s much more to this than its kooky, pink-hued marketing campaign. If you sleep on it, you’re sleeping on one of the best - if not the best - single-player FPS games of this generation.
Sekiro is a game a lot of people are going to bounce off. It’s one for the “git gud” crowd - for people who want a feeling of accomplishment, rather than the fake achievement you feel from finding some Level 20 Pants in most modern triple-A experiences. It’s FromSoftware at its most confident, at its most unapologetic. It’s Bloodborne but faster, with fewer crutches yet somehow more fair. It’s also one of the best games released so far in what’s already looking like a strong 2019.
Though it’s not without its flaws, DMC 5 is a game where action is king. A layperson might think God of War and DMC 5 exist in the same genre, but they don’t. DMC 5 isn’t about going on an epic journey, meeting characters, and uncovering the mysteries of a world. It’s about riding a f**king rocket, flying it between enemies, flipping over a demon and shooting it in the head. It’s about pulling up your hood, taunting the hordes of Hell, and somersaulting sideways at the last second before launching into a flurry of sword strikes. It’s about murdering ten demons without your feet ever touching the ground. It’s about fighting and looking cool while you do it. In that, it’s an unparalleled success.
I went into Anthem with an open mind. It’s a game I wanted to succeed from a studio I’ve always been fond of. Unfortunately, it’s everything everyone feared at reveal. It’s a hollow experience that’s been designed to appeal to the widest market possible while squeezing more money out of those who are hooked in by its doggy treat design.
Recently, I kicked a man in the head so hard that he backflipped off a cliff. You should have heard the thud. I almost felt bad, but he was between me and a mound of rocks, which I knew contained treasures – perhaps a new mask to give my face extra protection from incoming head kicks. I don’t want to go the way of Cliff Dude, after all. Turns out it was some hand wraps. I killed a man for bandages.
It was disgusting: a pale, spindly creature, awkward looking and with wriggling, probing extremities. Patchy, fluffy hair clung to its cheeks, and it looked uncomfortable in its own skin, its arms hanging clumsily by its side as its tired eyes darted around nervously. Its name was Scott Ryder. Mass Effect is back, and this time you’re the alien.