Date Everything!

Now I'm hoping they call for a second date.

Date Everything is a ridiculously wonderful dating game, full of entertaining characters, sublime voice acting, and laugh out loud moments.

Have you ever looked around your home and wondered what your clock might look like if it were a cute cat boy? Maybe you’ve looked at your bed and thought that if it were instead a woman, she’d be super hot? Maybe you’ve thought that your collection of coat hangers would be a group of attractive, thrill-seeking himbos?

Date Everything! is an addictive sandbox dating simulator where you’ll Love, Friend, or Hate all 100 voice-acted objects in your home. It features simple controls, is full of quirkiness, secrets, and has a fun-loving story that will keep you entertained for countless hours.

Date Everything is an impressive dating sim as it expands the number of characters you can date to 100. Each character has a unique personality, and while having 100 of them does sound like a great thing, it can become a repetitive task towards the endgame. You'll need to raise your stats (S.P.E.C.S) by completing stories with each of the objects that come to life with your Dateviator glasses.

Date Everything! represents the best parts of the indie gaming scene and captures the zeitgeist of Internet culture. Date Everything! has a clear, vehemently anti-AI message among the rising tide of AI-generated content, showing just how much love and care are put into its creation, with a not-so-subtle anti-AI message about corporations trying to replace people with soulless machines. Despite some shortcomings and frustrating technical difficulties I may have during my playthrough, the good heavily outweighs the problems, and Date Everything! is an absolute riot and an emotional rollercoaster...

If only all dates were like this. Forget about sitting in a bar, making excruciating small talk about the price of drinks, we’re going on a quest to find a bedazzled sword made out of a toothpick. With a fridge. Who runs an Ice Cream shop.

Absolutely heaving with personality, it's clear a lot of heart and soul has gone into making Date Everything. Its characters are beautifully brought to life, but trying to meet everyone (which you'll want to do) can feel a bit of a slog.

Have you ever wanted to have a relationship with your toilet? No? Me neither. It sounds far too much like a euphemism to describe the morning after eating a particularly heinous kebab. Still, it’s definitely a question developer Sassy Chaps have asked themselves, and in response, they’ve created the sandbox dating simulator Date Everything, a narrative text-based adventure in which you can date, well, everything.

When I first saw Date Everything, I was suspicious. There’s a trend in Western visual novels with a heavy lean toward parody or irony often flavored with a hubris or disrespect that borders on, at best, otherism. Games like Doki Doki Literature Club or the constant barrage of April Fools joke games in which you date a yoked up fast food mascot or whatever use a genre with historical significance and genuine longevity as a cudgel to look down on its games and people who make and play them, and it sucks! Date Everything, a visual novel that has you exploring an apartment to go on dates with pers...

Date Everything is a masterclass in character design, full of wonderful faces based on everyday household objects that spring to life who I love getting to meet. Still, juggling 100 characters is an ambitious undertaking, and a lack of nuance means some feel flatter than others, sacrificing some depth. Date Everything is at its best embracing interpersonal dynamics that make the house feel alive. Still, it's well worth working from home for this.

After receiving the Dateviators, the protagonist starts receiving messages from someone only known as "Tinfoilhat" who seems to be behind the situation. The powerful corporate leader, David Most, as well as possibly the government, is looking for these glasses now. Other than Tinfoilhat, the only person to know what is happening is the protagonist's best friend, Sam, who also seems to accept everything much too quickly considering what is happening. Personally, if a friend of mine started saying this was happening to them, I would be tempted to seek mental health services for them.